Want to Feel Better?

Take 100% Accountability for You

Have you ever heard somebody blame somebody else for how they are feeling?  “She keeps pushing my buttons.”  “I am pissed off cuz this guy totally cut me off and made me spill my coffee.”  Do you ever hear things like that from the people around you?  Or worse, do you ever say or think things like this?

Nothing has any power except the power you give it.  Nobody has the power to make you happy, sad, angry or excited unless you allow them to have that power.  Take responsibility for your feelings- 100% responsibility. Take responsibility for your blaming of other people.  Making somebody else at fault for how YOU feel is giving away your power, the power to control your life and your outcomes.  Taking full responsibility for how you feel is claiming that power-getting it back.

The idea that someone can push your buttons is somewhat comical to me.  I often ask what buttons?  People walk around believing that they were born with “buttons” that when pushed allow them or make them feel a certain way.  NEWSFLASH: You created the buttons.  If you want someone to stop pushing the buttons spend more time eliminating the buttons and less time blaming them for pushing them.

Stop Blaming Others

Blaming leads to a very destructive belief, believing that you are a victim.  If you tend to justify, complain and blame chances are you believe you are a victim.   Justification, complaining and blame are used to alleviate pain – the pain of failure.  Think about it, if a person was not failing in some way in their life would they need to complain, justify or blame?  Take a moment to recognize if you exhibit victim behaviors.  Is your business suffering because of the economy? Is your relationship struggling because your spouse doesn’t put in any effort?  Do you feel tired and irritable because you had to deal with customers all day?

If you answered yes to any or all of the above questions you may be acting the victim role and it is very difficult to a happy & successful victim.  Become aware of how often you play the victim.  Become aware of how often your self-talk and thoughts confirm your victim beliefs.  Then begin to change it.

Improve Today

Exercise:  As you journal at the end of the day, write down a few things that went really well today.  Then ask yourself “ What did I do to create each of these outcomes/ situations? Write down your answer. Do that for each positive.  Now right down one thing that did not go well.  And ask yourself “ What did I do to create that outcome/ situation?  What did I learn from this situation? What can I do differently in the future to create a better outcome? Write down your answers.

This exercise will help you to become accountable for your life.  You will begin to see clearly how you control the outcomes in your daily life and in your life long-term.  This exercise will help you to become aware of the strategies that are working in you life (the ones getting you closer to your goals) and the ones that are not.